Why do you recommend "There are few people walking the road"
I have read a lot of books, but if I only recommend one, then it must be "the road that few people take."
"The Road to Less People" was written by American psychiatrist Scott Parker. There are three books, "The Journey of Mental Maturity", "Brave Faces Lies" and "Dialogue with the Mind". The first "Mature Mature journey" is the essence, and this answer is also taken as an example.
The core of this book is: life is hard. The book is divided into four chapters: self-discipline, love, growth and faith, grace. From the perspective of a psychiatrist, the author reveals the sufferings, setbacks, and how to face up to the path of maturity.
First talk about self-discipline
People have personality, sex is desire, and grid is constraint. Not to mention the nature of good and evil, pure desire has no boundaries and needs to be bound. The so-called self-discipline is to use rules and methods to constrain one's misconduct. There are two points in the core: responsibility and balance. Every free person should have a corresponding responsibility. If we can't solve the problems in time and shoulder their corresponding responsibilities, these things will be like barriers that lie in our hearts, hinder personal growth, and hinder developments in reality. People always tend to avoid responsibility and are unwilling to face the situation and not want to change. This is very scary. If everything thinks: "This is not my problem," it certainly does not help; it is not wise to expect others to solve problems for you. Should be, it should be brave to face and say, "This is my problem, I will solve it." This may be just a small change, but it will have an infinite impact on people's life. Another point is balance. As stated earlier, people should bear their corresponding responsibilities, which also means refusing responsibilities that should not be borne. Not only that, but also understand that self-discipline is a difficult task that requires patience, courage, judgment, and vision. On the one hand, it should be based on the pursuit of honesty, on the other hand, it should also conceal some facts and truths for the sake of justice. On the one hand, we need to postpone the sense of satisfaction and put our eyes on the long-term. On the other hand, we need to hold it properly and live a good life. This is balance.
Love is an extremely mysterious phenomenon. It is difficult to give a clear definition. When studying psychology, the study of love was also listed as a half-forbidden zone.
Here, Parker gave love a relatively complete definition: love is to promote self and other people's mental maturity, and constantly expand their boundaries and achieve self-improvement.
There are three points in this sentence that deserve our aftertaste:
• Love needs to be consistent with the goals of the subconscious;
• Love is a long-term, gradual process;
• Love is self-love, but also loves people and grows together;
In the process of love, people will get a special sense of satisfaction. This kind of satisfaction comes from the expansion of self-boundary. We will regard each other as part of ourselves and hope that the other party can grow. In the meantime, we feel that our souls are infinitely extended, and we hope that passion and even life will be dedicated to each other. The long-term love for something makes us live in the realm of spiritual concentration. It is the mutual ambiguity between our internal world and the external world, and the satisfaction that is different from ecstasy.
It needs to be pointed out that although love and sex can happen at the same time, it is not the same thing. Sex can give a moment of ecstasy at the height of the climax, but it does not provide a long-term focus.
Stripping the book of Scott, here I solemnly emphasize that dependence is not love. The provision of security is not caused by dependence, but by the inside out. In the process of love, you need to invest, there will be risks, and there will be various contradictions. This is inevitable, and you don't have to panic.
Growth and faith
As we grew up, we saw a broader world. but? Due to the difference in talent and growth environment, the difference in mental age, the individual's perception of the world may be different. The world is diverse, many things, right or wrong, just different.
"The Road to Less People" mentions that in the process of growing up, we need to constantly tear through the old maps, step on the old knowledge, and explore the fields full of thorns, even if it will be a pain. We need to establish our own beliefs. Of course, the beliefs here are not worthy of religious beliefs. The more appropriate words should be values and principles. We can establish our own beliefs with "reality", "observation", "knowledge", "suspicion", "experience", etc., instead of blindly believing in God, people, or others. A good book can soothe the soul and promote the growth of the mind. The "Small people go the way" has done it.